HAPPY:
It is a happy day because I made more friends hehe super glad. Today's event was awesome!!! Ate har gow, siew mai, ECLAIRS!!! It did end off with a good note and we dabao to SU room, very auntie but who cares most importantly is that my seniors and friends are happy.
SAD:
To continue, I slowly realize I hate it when my senior, that likes my friend, keep praising her. It is stupid cos she has a boyfriend and he just keeps trying to fish her. I thought of why I never seemed to be praised " you are the pretty girl" I know i am not pretty and to make it worse i have a friend that is pretty and cute and all the good things. Everything just makes me look bad. I can only say it here because YES i want attention but all i want is that bit of attention. WHY AM I NEVER LOVED? SCREW ALL THIS SHIT!!! that is why i really need my own quiet space.
With my mood already bad, i bought a cake for my bro cos it is his birthday but i came home and realised that my dad already bought him a cake. My dad hardly buys cake for me, why? cos i am a daughter. it is always like that i am born in a family that cherishes their sons more than they cherish their daughter.
I really thought very hard about how much my family and friends appreciate me. Am i just a passing phase to them? Will it matters if i just disappear? I don't think it ever bothers them. It is just like how my bestie leaves me and never will he return.
Monday Blues
It always feels to me as if I am someone that all my friends can live with or without me. Ever since my bestie ended the friendship with me because it is affecting his relationship, i often felt if i were to disappear i would bring more smiles to the world. I don't know man, i doubt anyone will actually feel the kind of emotions that i have right now. To my nearest best friend now, i am just a freaking bright light bulb will anyone understand? It just doesn't make sense to me why am I never being loved the way my friends are? WHY???? This is just not the usual Monday blues that any person will have. I am like stuck in between emotions that nobody knows.
Rachel.
